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There is a new restaurant in Beijing - a specialty penis restaurant. Their fare includes penises that once dangled proud and strong from yaks and oxen, seals and dogs, horses and donkeys. You name it, they have it!
I am mostly a vegetarian but I am planning a trip to Beijing soon and I am not taking my wife with me. She's an absolute vegan. When she was last here in China she was shocked when our companion stopped mid-track and slapped the trunk of a tree, picked out a dead insect that looked like a cricket and promptly dispatched it's edible portions into his mouth. He looked happy and said it was delicious but my wife! She was shocked. Later, he took us to a restaurant where stir-fried crickets were the specialty of the house. We couldn't say no as our companion was hosting two Germans, as well, who were willing to try anything. The restaurant floor was stacked inches deep with left overs of crickets, their shells and the like. If that was bad for my wife Beijing would be murder.
China Daily described the restaurant as being 'situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake'. Penises or testicles are a part of every dish at restaurant. Of course, one has the option of choosing one's favourite - yes, penis!
Chinese cuisine, developed over thousands of years, considers not only taste and appearance but also the medicinal value of food. Traditional Chinese Medicine has long relied on animal body parts to heal and give health and vigour. Eating penises (penes) is believed to increase the yang essence or virility. It's believed to be good for both men and women. But, testicles! They're for men only, unless women are game for an extra dose of testosterone. However, testicles are believed to be good for the skin and women interested in adding that extra sheen can venture to try some.
For first-timers, the recommended dish is a huoguo or a hotpot, a dish filled with chicken stock and a sampling of six different penises. The restaurant boasts trained waitresses and also a nutritionist, ready to explain the medicinal value of different foods to ignorant or curious clients.
The restaurant 'showpieces', the imaginatively named "Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet" (from Xinjiang horses) and "Dragon in the Flame of Desire" (yak - steamed, fried and flambeed) priced at US$ 35 (RMB 280) and US$ 50 (RMB 400) respectively, don't come cheap in a country where some families survive on less than that for a month. But, gourmet penis dining is not for the ordinary folk.
But, if this sounds expensive, a portion of Canadian seal's penis (advance order booking necessary), at US$ 380 (RMB 3000) will leave you poor indeed!
Beijing, here I come!
(I hope my wife did not hear that!)
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Strep throat is inflammation of the throat, tonsils and lymph nodes due to infection with group A streptococcus bacteria. Strep throat is very common during the flu seasons and it can be preceded by mild symptoms such as runny nose, sneezing or cough. The incubation period of strep throat is around 3-5 days and most symptoms occur within this period of time. Common symptoms of strep throat are: throat inflammation and swelling, difficult swallowing, difficult breathing, mucus-producing cough, fatigue, body weakness, headache, nausea, poor appetite, enlargement of the lymph nodes and tonsils, excessive sweating and fever.
Strep throat is very contagious and the bacteria responsible for causing the illness can be easily transmitted from a person to another by direct touch, sneezing or coughing. In order to prevent infection with streptococcus bacteria, it is very important to maintain proper personal hygiene and to avoid entering in contact with infected people. The persons affected by strep throat should also take measures in avoiding spreading the bacteria to others.
Untreated strep throat can lead to serious complications and doctors usually recommend a course of antibiotics to most people affected by strep throat. With appropriate medical treatment, the illness can be overcome quickly, minimizing the risk of developing complications.
Although they can’t replace medical treatments completely, there are various home remedies that can quickly relieve the symptoms of strep throat and speed up the process of recovery. Corroborated with proper rest, an appropriate diet and plenty of fluids, natural remedies can quickly deal with the undesirable effects of strep throat.
Chamomile tea is one of the best natural remedies for strep throat. Its analgesic properties can provide rapid relief for throat pain and headaches. Administered every few hours, chamomile tea can also reduce fever and prevent dehydration. A very strong natural remedy, sage can reduce inflammation, protecting the soft tissues of the throat and respiratory system. Sage can be used either under the form of tincture or under the form of capsules. Thanks to its antibiotic properties, garlic is also an appropriate home remedy for strep throat.
Gargling with salt water can fight against bacteria and can reduce throat inflammation and pain, while saline nasal sprays can help decongest the airways clogged with mucus. When suffering from strep throat, it is very important to maintain a warm temperature in your bedroom and to increase the air humidity by using mist humidifiers. You should avoid exposure to chemicals or irritants such as cigarette smoke and alcohol vapors. You should keep away from any substance with strong, persistent odor in order to prevent further inflammation of the respiratory system’s soft tissues and membranes.
It is recommended to avoid drinking cold or very hot beverages, as they can cause throat irritation and pain, slowing down the process of healing. Also, keep away from spicy and irritant foods, as they are not tolerated well by an inflamed throat. When suffering from strep throat, you should only eat soft foods such as soups, yogurts, mashed potatoes, and non-irritant fruits.
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The Forest
As we drove farther into the outskirts of Augsburg, looking out placidly across the top of cars, houses, and at the dogs running about, I got thinking, thinking how I felt being with Chris, about Chris. It was like I was cast into a spell, an enchantment, or perhaps a curse; very seldom did I ever feel like this. Normally I would feel like this only if I was in the presence of a great person, like my karate instructor in San Francisco, Gosei Yamauchi, or his father ‘The Cat’ Gogan, who was one of the few 10th degree black belts in the world. Normally I’d be high the whole next day. With Chris I felt the same way I knew tomorrow I’d be high all day, it was a natural high.
Once—I can’t remember when—I had read something about the poet Emily Dickinson, she was something like a recluse, but she made a poem indicating nature was her high, and I always remember that. How true this can be, grabbing the moment and cherishing it, absorbing it as if there was no tomorrow, and at the same time absorbing nature: the sounds and the heart beat mother earth, and sky; others humans, and the dogs and birds, all such things that at that moment surround you; they are all somewhat magical. I was learning, how to be a listener if anything and it entailed all things within your presence.
Chris was fully alive now, as I turned my head towards her delectation her steering wheel facing me, at which made the moment a little more interesting, as she felt good about me checking her out; a weary kind of sense, not defeat, just a good profile look; I thought dimly in my mind as she drove mile after mile: how could she afford to look so prim and proper all the time. Do her hair in a unique style, not a hair out of place, so it seemed. I guess in our own way we are all unique, I heard that someone say that someplace, not sure where.
An hour and a half had passed on by and she was still driving, and it was getting dark. She pulled into a wooded area; she said it was the outer rim of the Black Forest (otherwise known as the Eyebrow of the Woods), I think I heard of that forest in a fairytale book or at least that is where my mind said I got it from. An enchanting name, I must had said it my second self, that little person inside of all of us that we talk to: Black Forest, Black Forest…!
“So you see,” said Chris “…here we are!” She added her conclusive little smile to her face as she said that; as we entered the dark huge green forest, parking the car a little off to the side of a dirt road that lead into the deeper and more distant part of the forest, partly covered by trees and bushes now.
There was a chill in the air so I rolled up the window, as she turned on the radio for some music.
Very quickly and carefully she moved her thin reserved neck and shoulders into my area, she just starred at me, as if she was going to eat me up; as her left arm was lowered, it pulled out a bottle of Mosel-Saar-Ruwer wine, 1965 wine, -- I looked the bottle over 9.5% volume; I knew they had been making wine around this intriguing river and hilly area for close to 1700-years. It was good wine I had tasted it before, not sweat or dry, flowerily white wine to be exact.
“Now,” said Chris indignantly, but with the air of a certain point, “…let’s see what we can do with this battle.
We started to drink and laugh.
“Ah, yes,” I said to her, “you have a lovely profile.” She smiled and threw her head back.
“Well,” I thought out loud “… this is a good way to pass the night away, and begin romantic indecencies”-- she leaned over the center-divider of the bucket seats to kiss me. She opened her mouth, sunk her lips on mine, as she pulled her long legs to the under-part of the dash, she then started to unzip her zipper to her boots.
“This,” commented Chris “passes everything…I never did it in a car before.” She had drunk down 1/5 of the wine like a person drinking water.
“Chick,” said Chris, ”…come over here.”
I moved my body closer to hers. Everything seemed to be in the way. I could not back out of whatever was going to happen; and I knew what was in the makings.
She was starting to stretch her hands out: --her blouse went over her head, I just kept looking as she started to strip, I was growing, getting as hard as a pencil.
“Oh, damn Chick,” said Chris heartily as she touched my item. Just her saying that aroused me; then pulling off her bra, and her skirt up I seemed to become tranquilized somehow, my mind slipped to King Solomon, of all things, as he once defined the beauty of a woman’s body and how it was to measured for one’s pleasure by enjoying it fully, and this was all I wanted to do now—enjoy it, and I think Chris was feeling the same way for even though we were both a bit on the tipsy side we were fully aware of our responses, I had lost complete focus of the uncomfortable situation, as she did…
◊…now that she was almost completely stripped only her panties on, she curled up in a fetus position holding her legs and leaning back, then opened up her legs slowly… I thought what every on earth possessed her, yet who can predict women I told myself, and started to take off my cloths, quickly…getting out of this spill of sorts. I guess it is true, men like to observe, and women like to touch. I liked both. This was not dirty sex, this was pure sex, at its height, one might even say, it was like a painting; she painted the picture, she taught me how to enjoy what she had to offer.
“I’m going to get it all off in a minute,” I said, it was difficult working in this cramped space… she chuckled, “Slowly please, I can wait…”she softly said as she rested her head back and I caught my breath, that is what she wanted, that is, for me to calm down, yet remain hard and possessed with her offering: I think we both had multiorgasms
“I feel fine now –“ I said, adding, “cramped but fine…☺”
Chris opened up her arms I couldn’t back away after that, could I?
I told myself: I have a private room at the barracks…. Then said it out loud to her:
“Of course, -- next time…” said she, and we continued to make love for the third orgasm for me, for her, perhaps five or six.
We seemed to flop around the front seat finding the right position…’she‘s looking at me eeeeeeeee’, I told myself, I’m cramped, nothing to grab a hold of, her head leaning against the glass of the window. Without a word we continued: --my body heavy onto hers, my heart beating two-hundred ticks a minute, we both were hot, enmeshed in the moment, a lustful, and burning moment; I wanted to open the door, but feared the light going on and someone would see us, plus the air was cool, too cool. I had no escape we met each other’s eyes as I penetrated her. She looked again deep into my eyes as she tried to catch her breath, to make sure I was still alive I think. It was seemingly unfair for me to put her through this I thought, but the thought only lasted a half second, I found myself exploding … as my heart dropped to my feet, and again, and again, I exploded and burned as if I had opened myself up to a volcano; I had learned at that moment, the difference between happiness and pressure: happiness was listening to her talk before, and then came her smile, now the pleasure, sex; I hurt, this had never happened before.
“Nice evening, isn’t it?” I said as I started pulling her body closer to me.
“I hope you are not offended I am taking the lead?” said Chris.
“Not at all,” I said, adding, “I’ll catch up.”
“There are times,” said Chris, “when rules are made to be broken like now, them...mmm damn silly rules…” she pulled herself up a bit, “I stopped believing in those rules… this is one of those moments I want to remember…remember for a long time, even after I am dead.”
As we tried to untwist our bodies, we caught ourselves laughing at our odd situation. We had made love, and became a little more sensitive with each other…a little more possessive of each other, I guess that is the nature of things in a relationship, they are made to progress, or stop, one or the other, and it was never to take place again in the front seat of a Mustang I knew….
She laid her cheek against my hand.
“Chick.”
“Yes?”
“You realize don’t you, this can’t end here?”
“There’s no reason for it to end, is there?”
“No.”
She spoke some German words I didn’t understand, German mingled with English I should say: then somehow, she went silent…maybe she was taking time to remember the moment, digesting it; I didn’t know, nor did I want to try to guess, I just looked at her, her smile it seemed to promise something, grace; instinct was in it also, around her small enclosed eyes, as they opened and shut slowly they were weaving a web I do believe, “It won’t end here, I promise.”
Pleasant and agreeable-like a well-cultured woman she was, maybe too much for me, she opened the door, and dressed quickly, then got back in.
“Want a cigarette?” I asked, sitting up straight.
“No and neither do you. We are both restless it seems. Come over to me,” she started kissing me.
As she released her lips from mine, she sat upright now, pulled out a cigarette, lit it and started blowing smoke rings into the air.
“You know perfectly well, I’m very much attracted to you…yoouuuu… right?”
“I hope so, I feel the some way.”
“Luckily the wine deadens the bruises (discoloration).” I commented, she laughed and kind of stretched her back to put it back in place…”Me to,” she replied.
“I wish all relationships could start like ours, it is like saying let’s drop all the game playing and pretend we are on the fifth date, and cut the crap; I like you Chick, I like you very much…”
“The bruises will show up tomorrow,” I told Chris.
Kind of saying maybe we should go, but neither one of us seemed to be all that bothered with that so we simply started kissing again after her cigarette brake…it was a long and needed pause for me, for a second breathe, a refractory period I needed [from uninterrupted sex]; that is, having multiple orgasms drains a man. I’ve learned also, women don’t need this rest period; so in time I’d learn how to last longer, and perhaps stretch the orgasms thinner but again, longer (three hours at the most; and I did).
I thought in my head, she was having sex with me, and then that rich boyfriend she had; she was getting her multiorgasmic pleasures indeed, perhaps a secret to some women, for once they discover this, it is hard for any man to keep up with them, lest he be a superman of sorts. I did not even at that young age have the capacity to pass six organisms; five was my limit I learned. I was limp now; my penis had been as pointed as a scorpions tail a while ago.
As scary as it started out for me I thought my reactions afterwards was cool, I seemed to be letting things take their natural course. It was a dark and colorless evening. Grossly romanticized in such an unimpressive way (so I thought in the back of my mind), yet Miss Chris was perfect.
I thought to myself: maybe she might be annoyed with my lovemaking… I guess every man wants to please the woman, wife, girlfriend, the one he is making love to, or should want to please her, but most don’t; how can they, they pop too quickly. This is a fact, I’ve talked to men, and when they say they go so quick, no woman could get it on in that time period. A woman taught me how to hold myself from climaxing too early, thus allowing the woman to catch up—and therefore, allowing my female mate to get it on and enjoy. I know this evening went a little fast, but Chris was modest about it, like that other woman who had taught me, helped me, to help her, so we both could enjoy each other more; as my slowing down kept my penis hard longer, allowing her pleasure zone to become wider. This was something of the case in hand, but not completely.
Most men think they make love better drinking, but it’s far from the truth. Most men do not know how to make love, no one taught them, so all they do is f*ck, and that is not love, that is, if anything, a quick climax, like eating a big fat burger, and wiping your mouth in its enjoyment and then leaving the café only to find out: you got indigestion, and had you went to a nicer restaurant, ate slower, you’d never forget the meal.
I have experimented with that theory, and it is nine-minutes verse four-hours, I say four hours, but I knew in my head it was only one time I lasted four hours, two and a half was the norm.
I was thinking now—as Chris kissed me—how I owe some women a bit of gratitude for allowing me to have my pleasure and not returning it to them; that’s the caretaker in a woman I think. But women just don’t know men can learn. And men are too bull-headed to let women teach them what pleases them. I had learned a good lover was worth his weight in gold and even maybe a little more: sometimes they can be irresistible.
One could hardly tell her it wasn’t hastily done, our sex (to me it was) for it was, but she seemed to understand the circumstances, and we need not prove anything today, only allow our bodies to be sanctioned to the other. So I think we both felt. Lovemaking would improve as time went on.
“I’m afraid my lover, we will have to find better accommodations next time,” Chris said, smiling at me.
“Yes,” I hesitated, “absently,” I hesitated-- “I feel the same way.”
“It’s a little hard in such a cramped car luckily we are both a little tipsy….”
“I’m afraid I’m not, somehow I sobered up when you took your blouse off.” She smiled, with a grin.
“Yes. I sense you have, do you really like me Chick?”
“You are growing on me. And what is there not to like?”
She was like a schoolgirl at times, needing to be encouraged, to grow up, and needed to be admired. But she didn’t need permission to live, she was taking that—but I’m learning to appreciate women more, I told myself, and it seems the more I show appreciation, the more they respect me, and to be quite frank with myself, I need respect. And why not … the world will give it, if you demand it, and if not, let that part of the world go; so my second self, my mind’s eye, told me.
But then as I looked at her, if she really felt she was on death row, with cancer, maybe I was just a remedy for a while, and if so, so what, maybe I needed a remedy to make it through my time here in Germany; so seemed just to me.
8
The Spider and
The Web
A warm-wind had picked up it seemed, and April and May in Germany was a paradise of light-cool sunrays, it was a spring never to forget, Chris and I were growing on one another, like white on rice. More community drinking fairs were picking up and Chris and I tried to make a few, drink it up and eat and just go with the flow; it was a good time for living.
Chris and I were known throughout the guardhouse-barracks as lovers and a heat wave at that. She seemed to have a charm with my soldier friends, and often drove her German boyfriend’s Mercedes car to the gate, and about, showing off kind of, not only to me, but it seemed at times going out of her way to show it to the other guards. Most of my friends thought she had two cars, I simply did not up date them, if they were not in my way of thinking or inner circle—why squander my time; and in most cases they didn’t have a need to know; but Ski and a few other of my friends knew the truth. I felt: plus, I felt: why not let Chris make an impression at the guard shacks, if it helps her ego so be it. I do not think I was envious, rather amused. I’m sure somewhere along the line I’d have to deal with envy, but who at my age is envious, for what, I have a lifetime to catch up.
She flirted with the guards, and they all thought it cool. At night, if I had to work, she would bring me by a sandwich while on duty; in one way she got the guys a little jealous, or in lack of a better word, annoyed. And sometimes she would simply walk into barracks, which had about fifteen-guards some running around half naked from the shower room to their room, while others went visiting. She’d come knocking on my door. She’d spend the night with me, it was an improvement from the car, and for some reason we only went over to her house once in the following two months. I knew we were not fooling anyone at the guard-barracks, but we pretended to be secret about it anyway.
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Bladder infections can make life very uncomfortable for those who have them. However, there is a lot you can do at home to make these infections less unpleasant, and get rid of them quickly. The best home remedy is to drink a lot of fluids. This is probably the single most important remedy for immediate relief and comfort.
By urinating, you will flush out the bacteria from your blood faster. The longer any amount of urine stays in the bladder, the more bacteria stay in there. It is believed that E coli doubles its population about every 20 minutes. And more bacteria means more discomfort.
Taking a hot bath is the next best thing that you can do. Many women vouch for a hot bath to get immediate relief from pain and inflammation caused by bladder infection.
Taking anti-inflammatory medicines like aspirin or ibuprofen also provides relief to a lot of people. They reduce the inflammation in the bladder and thereby lessen the burning.
About 1,000 mg of vitamin c consumed every day will acidify the urine enough to stop further bacterial growth. This is an especially good idea if you're having problems with recurring bladder infections or if you do not have access to quick medical help. But you must keep in mind that some antibiotics prescribed for bladder infections do not work in acidic urine. It is advisable to inform your doctor if you're taking vitamin C along with the dosage amounts. Cranberry juice is known to help for the same reasons mentioned above.
Wiping from front to back after going to the bathroom helps prevent infections from occurring. It helps to move bacteria away from, not toward, the vagina and the opening of the urethra. Going to the bathroom before intercourse helps flush out bacteria that may be present in the vagina and otherwise might get pushed into the bladder by intercourse. You must also visit the bathroom after intercourse. A man's penis can massage bacteria present in the opening of the urethra into the bladder, and a rinse will help you clean yourself.
Bladder infections can be prevented if you use pads instead of tampons for the same reasons mentioned above. Lastly, good hygiene always helps to keep bladder infections away. This means wearing cotton underwear that keeps you dry, avoiding tight jeans that decrease ventilation, and most of all, keeping clean.
